In an account given to Günaydın and sent directly to Moto Perpetuo, the Berlin Philharmonic violinist describes the rehearsal exchanges behind her decision never to work with Say again. The pianist and composer has denied humiliating her.
Hande Küden has provided a detailed account of her dispute with Fazıl Say, describing conversations and rehearsal exchanges that she says led her to decide never to participate in his projects again.
In statements to the Turkish newspaper Günaydın, which she sent directly to Moto Perpetuo, the Berlin Philharmonic violinist recounts disagreements before the Özyeğin Philharmonic Orchestra’s inaugural concert. She also addresses the concert video shared by Say, explaining why she believes the public acknowledgement shown in it does not reflect what happened during rehearsals.
Say has previously rejected her allegations, maintaining that his requests were professional musical demands and that his communication with her remained respectful.
A request for sectional rehearsals
According to Küden, the first disagreement followed her request for 15 minutes each of separate string and wind rehearsals during the next session, so that everyone could hear one another properly in terms of intonation.
“He rudely rejected my request,” she told Günaydın.
The following morning, she says, an organiser identified in her account as Emel told her: “From now on, nobody will speak directly to Fazıl. Everything will go through me.”
Küden says Say subsequently asked to speak with her in the organiser’s presence. In her recollection, he questioned her familiarity with the project and referred to their agreement for two concerts before telling her:
“You actually weren’t even the first concertmaster we preferred to invite here; we had no choice. Look, sitting behind you are concertmasters, soloists, and even professors who could do this job.”
Küden says she challenged those remarks, asking: “What does that mean? Is this how you thank me?”
She alleges that the organiser squeezed her arm during the exchange, on one occasion telling her: “After all, he is the world-famous Fazıl Say.”
According to Küden, Say replied: “If we didn’t value you, we wouldn’t have invited you here in the first place.”
She says she asked that their conversation remain “within the boundaries of mutual respect”.
Küden says she considered leaving at that point but decided to stay because of her wish to contribute to the newly established orchestra.
The exchange during the concert-day rehearsal
Küden describes a further confrontation during the rehearsal on the day of the concert. She says Say stopped the rehearsal and addressed her in front of 80 people, criticising her playing of a rhythmic passage.
According to Küden, Say addressed her as follows:
“Hande! How can you play that passage like that? Can’t you see it’s a triplet? Look at that note, look at the note! You’re playing it like sixteenth notes! We’ve rehearsed it five times, why isn’t it working? Why are you playing like that?!”
She says she initially remained silent. According to her account, Say then said: “She’s not even answering. Answer me!”
“I said, ‘Could you speak to me properly?’ But nothing changed in his tone of voice,” Küden recalled.
She says the exchange continued, with Say maintaining that she was playing incorrectly and her responding that she knew very well how she was playing.
“When I asked, ‘Why are you singling me out like this?’ he said, ‘Because I can hear you, that’s why I’m telling you.’”
Küden says she told him that she was not playing alone and that he needed to address the entire section. She eventually turned to the conductor and said: “He is insulting me right now.”
In her account, the conductor replied, “I am so sorry to hear that,” and attempted to calm the situation before continuing the rehearsal.
Why she decided to perform
After the rehearsal, Küden says she again considered withdrawing. When she asked the organiser for a reason to perform, she recalls receiving the answer: “So that you won’t be remembered as Hande Küden who abandoned the concert.”
She also describes a private conversation with an unnamed orchestra musician. When Küden said she would not perform after what had happened, the musician allegedly replied: “If I were you, I wouldn’t stay for the concert either.”
According to Küden, the conductor subsequently visited her and expressed support for her decision to defend herself. She says the conductor acknowledged not understanding Turkish but had nevertheless understood Say’s manner of speaking to be humiliating. These remarks are reported through Küden’s account, rather than a separate statement from the conductor.
“No one apologised to me,” Küden said.
Nevertheless, she decided to perform, explaining that she did not want to abandon the newly established ensemble in her role as concertmaster.
“At the same time, I tried to keep my spirits up by thinking to myself that I would never take part in any project with Fazıl Say again.”
Her explanation of the concert video
Küden also addresses Say’s public introduction of her during the concert, footage of which he subsequently shared on social media.
She says the introduction had not appeared in the concert schedule circulated to the participants and that she did not know in advance that he would ask her to stand.
“Therefore, when he suddenly made me stand up, I tried to smile politely,” she said.
She also alleges that Say unexpectedly decided she should enter the stage alone, although the original plan had been for the participants to enter together. According to her account, the concert presenter had not been informed of the change, and they ultimately entered at the same time.
Küden interprets the subsequent sharing of the introduction as presenting an appearance of harmony that did not reflect the preceding exchanges. She describes the video as having been posted “as though it were proof that ‘Look, nothing happened.’”
Her account challenges the significance Say has attached to his public acknowledgement of her: she maintains that her participation in the concert and courteous response onstage did not mean that the dispute had been resolved.
A request to remove her posts
Küden says that, after she publicly announced she would no longer work with Say, someone in his close circle sent her a message asking her to remove her posts.
In the account she supplied, the message reads: “Please, let’s calm down. I’m having a very difficult time right now. I’m asking you to remove these posts.”
According to Küden, Günaydın also spoke with orchestra musicians who requested anonymity and corroborated her account of the incident during the rehearsal onstage. Moto Perpetuo has not independently spoken with those musicians.
The background and Say’s denial
The dispute became public following the Özyeğin Philharmonic’s inaugural concert on November 9 in Istanbul, at which Küden served as concertmaster and Tianyi Lu conducted. Say appeared as soloist in his piano concerto Mother Earth.
Küden subsequently announced that she would not participate in any further Say projects, alleging treatment during rehearsals that she considered unacceptable.
In his previously published response, Say denied her allegations. He said his interventions concerned the interpretation of his own composition, that his communication remained within professional boundaries, and that those present had witnessed the exchanges.
He also cited his public acknowledgement of Küden before an audience of 1,500 and expressed concern that the controversy would overshadow the new orchestra’s collective work.
“She got what she wanted”
In a subsequent Instagram post, Küden reproduced another social media comment that she attributed to Say. The accompanying English translation included the words: “She got what she wanted. We know exactly what she was after.”
Küden responded that the comment itself demonstrated the condescending attitude she had criticised. She argued that it removed the need for her to explain the rehearsal incident in detail and thanked him for revealing that attitude publicly.
Moto Perpetuo covered that exchange in its previous report on the dispute.
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